Tag Archives: Self-Worth

Body Image, How It Affects You

One of the things that I’ve discovered by working with women is that
they suffer from really poor body image.  It’s really hard to look good
in your clothes if you have a really poor body image, because your
poor body image shows up in your posture, how you stand how you
walk, how you sit, how you talk.

Do you have a poor body image?

If you’ve answered you to that question, your not the only one.
Try thinking about the things that are positive instead of focusing
on the negative things about yourself.

Mahalo for watching!

Aloha, Janin

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Your Self-Worth Matters

Most people don’t like to talk about self-worth, but did you know that self-wroth
drives everything that you do. If you feel like you don’t have any worth, it’s really
hard to get anything done and it’s really hard to accomplish things. It’s time to
start thinking about what value you have. Your self-worth matters!

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Your Self-Worth Matters!

√7:14:16 How you feel aboutyourself on the insidewill always show onthe outside.

Have you ever felt like there are some things that you’re struggling with
and that you’ll never overcome them?  I know I have!

There seems to be a problem that’s common among many of the women that I talk with
in my community, women that I teach and women that I do business with… and, it’s low
self-worth.  Have you ever thought about that?

With all of the things that get in our way, low self-worth is the one (thing) that is not so
recognizable.  Now why is that?  I’d like to share with you what I know and what I’ve
learned.

Low self-worth affects everything you do.

It’s really running your life without you even realizing that it’s happening.

Low self-worth has symptoms like a low grade fever – it’s there, but not that noticeable
or recognizable, so you still go about your daily life trying to get things done.  You feel
like there’s a conflict that’s going on inside of you.

You start to wonder and even question yourself about what could be happening.  Could
there be a problem with me?  Do you dare to even wonder about something like that, is
it even possible?

You think to yourself ‘someone please tell me what’s going on!’… When is this (frustration)
going to stop? (that’s what I’ve said to myself).  Aren’t things supposed to get easier as
life and time goes on, and, as your skills and knowledge about yourself and life grow?

You are made up of many, many layers as a human being – some of the main ones are
the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical layers that are inseparably a part of you.

Therefore, there are triggers that make some of those layers start shaking, and, you
have no idea what’s going on!  It happens week after week, month after month and
you start to get really frustrated with yourself and your life.

Triggers come from many sources that you probably have never even thought of.
Take a look at some of the sources that are listed below that affect your self-worth.

Sources of Low Self-Worth:

  • Family
  • Your role in your family growing up
  • How you were treated and that same treatment was transferred down
    from generations
  • If you were abused
  • What people have told you
  • Cultural experiences
  • Modeled by other people in your family
  • Stories you tell yourself
  • Your role in social groups

Things People Have Said To You:

  • Don’t be big head
  • Who do you think you are
  • Don’t show off
  • Why can’t you be like your brother/sister
  • You’re stupid
  • Don’t be an idiot
  • You’re not smart enough
  • Keep your mouth shut and stop asking so many questions

Signs & Symptoms of Low Self-Worth:

  • Need validation
  • Put on a facade
  • Admire other peoples gifts and not your own
  • Refuse to set goals because you know you won’t reach it
  • Always trying to please people
  • Tired all the time
  • No motivation
  • Self-conscious
  • You don’t start things or don’t take action
  • Can’t look in the mirror without thinking bad things about yourself
  • Focused on yourself

Thoughts, Feelings & Emotions (DISGUISED):

  • “I’m not smart enough”
  • “I’m not pretty enough”
  • “What will people think of me”
  • Shame
  • Fear
  • Doubt
  • Worry about being rejected
  • Afraid that people will find out about your feelings of low self-worth

Things You Say To Yourself Out Loud:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I’m not smart enough
  • I’m so bad
  • I can’t afford that
  • No sense I set a goal when I know I won’t reach it!

Noticeable Behaviors:

  • Over extend yourself because, you can’t say NO!
  • Bullying, exerting power over someone
  • Abusive
  • Undisciplined
  • Lazy
  • Sleep a lot
  • Sarcastic
  • Give up half way through things
  • Don’t do what you say you’re going to do
  • Procrastinate
  • Always saying “I can’t afford it”
  • Critical to yourself and others
  • Overachiever
  • Underachiever

Intangible Effects Of Low Self-Worth:

  • Not following your dreams
  • Low self-esteem
  • What you choose to believe about yourself
  • Comparison

Visual Effects:

  • Wear clothes that are too tight
  • Wear clothes that are too large
  • Wear clothes that are worn out
  • Wear clothes that are not age appropriate

*Your clothes are an expression of how you feel about yourself on the inside.

                     √7:13:16Your Worth And Money Are NOT Synonymous

Financial Effects:

  • Spend more money than you have
  • Rack up credit card debt
  • Don’t buy nice things for yourself
  • Don’t keep track of your money and spending
  • Not able to differentiate between needs and wants

*Your relationship with money is not only a mindset, but it’s also a whole way of being.

Your self-worth drives everything you do!

How you feel about your worth as a human being is so powerful that If you allow it,
low self-worth will always win out in the end.

It’s so important to know of your worth and that you’re worth is great!

This is what I recommend:
1.  Acknowledge your gifts, talents and skills that you have, that you’ve gained or acquired.
Know who you truly are!

2.  Know that what you do matters in the lives of the people you touch.

3.  Have a desire to want to know of your worth, even if you can’t see your worth,
you can come to feel of your worth.

Combat low self-worth with truth!

You can always have peace when you speak the truth to yourself.  Maybe you weren’t
told how special you are and that you’re a gift from God, but that doesn’t mean that
it’s not true.  I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that it is true!

Be charitable to yourself, you’re always charitable to other people, so, don’t forget
about you and that you matter.  Make this journey you’re on worth every moment as
you feel of your self-worth.

                 The Worth OfYour Soul Is GreatIn The Sight Of God

 

When you focus on your gifts that you’ve been given from God, then you will start to
feel your worth as you use those gifts to serve others and well as yourself.  It might
feel like a slow and gradual process of getting to know and feel of your self-worth,
but, what a great feeling it will be.

You and I – together, let’s toss out this low self-worth and low grade fever, so that we
don’t give it any room to move around or grow!

The time to feel and know of your worth is now!

Let me help you create an amazing relationship with yourself.
Connect with me at janin@fashionablefinance.com

Aloha,

Janin

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episode #024 – What To Do About Comparing Yourself To Other People

What To Do About Comparing Yourself To Other People

Do you compare yourself to other people?

I don’t think it’s a new topic, but I want to talk about how it’s really not equal
– you, comparing yourself to other people, because we’re all created differently
and that’s the beauty of life is that we’re all different and I just want to let you
know there’s no two people –  even twins, identical twins are not exactly alike.

So because we’re not alike, you can’t compare yourself to other people.  I know
it’s a natural human tendency to compare yourself, and I know i’ve done it before,
but I try to I make it a practice of how I live my life now not to compare myself
and its’ great when you’re older, you get a lot wiser and you know better and
you realize that we’re all different and there’s nobody else like me.

I can’t be like somebody else that I admire.  I can admire the qualities that they
have, but it would be really doing myself a disservice to compare myself to them
because we all come to earth with our own gifts and our own talents.

If you focus on what you have and the gifts that you’ve been given and you try
to make use of those gifts and talents in your life, then you really don’t have time
to compare yourself to other people, and at the end of the day it really doesn’t
make you feel happy anyway!

Usually when you compare yourself to other people, it’s what you see on the
outside, you’re not looking at the whole picture.  You don’t know what their life
is like personally, you don’t know what kind of struggles they have going on
mentally and emotionally.

I would ask you to please look at your own gifts and your own talents and not
to compare yourself to other people.

As I continue to talk about clothing and style and fitting your clothes, what looks
good on you, I also give clothing care tips because it’s really important to care
about your clothes, not only to care about yourself but, you need to care about
your clothes, how to take care of it especially when you spend money on your
clothes – you want it to last as long as possible.

Even though I’m talking about all those other things, you need to make sure that
you just focus on yourself as far as focusing on what gifts you have – how can
you grow them, how can you make your gift become even better so that you
can share it with other people around you in your community, wherever you are,
wherever you go.

I know this because I’ve been working with a lot of women for many, many years
and I see the comparison that they do, even my conversations with them, they talk
about how they wish they “were like this person that they know” and this person
has ‘this’ quality or this person has a ‘perfect figure’.

We all have to embrace who we are, we have to embrace the gifts and just the
uniqueness that we are, I can’t even begin to express how important it is to
embrace your own gifts and uniqueness.

So, if you ever find yourself comparing yourself to other people, other women
-the first thing I would say is “just stop yourself”.

Just ask yourself some really, really great questions.

You can ask yourself questions like:

  • Is this serving me?

  • Is this making me feel good?
    (I can bet you that the answer will be no!)

Anytime you compare yourself to other people, the answer will always be NO.
I can guarantee you that!

I have never met anyone that has felt good after they’ve compared themselves
to someone else.

So just start by asking yourself powerful questions and when you do find yourself
comparing yourself to someone else, make sure you stop it and catch it.  Be aware
of it all the time because sometimes comparison can be a daily thing.

And then you realize after a while that it’s making you crazy, because we’re always
focused on someone else and we want to be like someone else when we’re not
realizing the uniqueness and the great qualities that WE have.

There’s always an underlying reason why we do that, sometimes we have self-worth
issues and we have self-esteem issues – even though we don’t want anyone to know
about them that we have them, we have them.

I have met a lot of people who didn’t want anyone to know, but it’s really obvious in the
way act and the conversations I have with them – the things that they say.  Eventually
people will admit that they have these self-esteem issues and self-worth issues and
there’s so many people that have them, so if you find that you’re in that position right
now of having those feelings, don’t be embarrassed, don’t get down on yourself.

Just be willing to recognize it and to work on it – that’s the first step is to be willing to
recognize it.  It’s easy to get into denial, denial can be something that’s really not good
for you and it’s always good to face the truth.  Sometimes we don’t like the truth, but
when we face it and we work towards overcoming it or letting go of the thoughts and
feelings that really don’t help us and serve us – we start to feel so much better.

Then you find that you will stop comparing yourself to other people, it is a daily thing,
but it’s worth it, that’s the thing about working on yourself is that the harder things
are always worth it and I invite you to take an inventory of what you are experiencing
in your life, in your thoughts and your emotions.  Are you comparing yourself to other
people?

Sometimes it’s hard to admit it and look at it, but I think it you’re at a place where it’s
just making you crazy then now is a good time to look at, to overcome it.  Of course
it will take steps to get there, but you really have to want to overcome these
comparisons.

Embrace your gifts and your uniqueness.

As I talk more and more about style and fashion, I have to include all these mental
and emotional thoughts and issues that we have before I can even really talk about
dressing so that you look good in your clothes and dressing so that your clothes fit
you properly, you have to work on the underlying things first before you can work
on the outer appearance, you have to work on the inner appearance, that may sound
strange but there is an inner appearance that happens on the inside that we try to
imagine ourselves to be, we can picture ourselves a certain way on the inside.

It’s OK, we all experience things in life.  That just helps us learn and grow.  We have
to have these struggles, so that we can become a better person, we can get to know
our strengths and our weaknesses and it just makes us ‘so much the wiser’ as work
and acknowledge these things.

Send me an email at janin@fashionablefinance.com, I’m here to help you and answer
any questions that you have.  Just remember, don’t compare yourself to other people
because it’s not serving you, embrace your uniqueness and the gifts that you have.

Have a good day, Aloha!

Please share this podcast with a friend or family member who
you think would get some value out of listening to the different
episodes.  I really appreciate it, mahalo for doing that.

a huihou malama pono, which means – until next time, take care

I would love your feedback, send me your comments or questions.

Make sure you visit www.fashionablefinance.com and leave me
a voice message through the Speakpipe app.

You can also find me at facebook.com/fashionablefinance.com
and www.twitter.com/janinjohnston

I hope you are enjoying listening to this podcast!

Subscribe to this podcast in iTunes so that you’ll never miss an
episode.

I would really appreciate it if you would give this podcast –
The Fashionable Finance Podcast a rating and review in
iTunes.

Connect with me:  janin@fashionablefinance.com

Mahalo for listening.

Aloha, Janin Johnston

Music by: Dennis Pavao
Song: Ipo Lei Manu
Album: Wale No
Produced by: Pilialoha Production
If you would like to order a copy of this CD you
can send an email request to Pilialoha Productions
at: makai@maui.net

Dennis Pavao-Album Cover

Permission was given to use the music from this
artist.

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What To Do About Comparing Yourself

Do you compare yourself to other people?

Comparing yourself to other people is not a new topic.

Comparison is not equal because we are all created differently, we are all unique
and have our own gifts.  That’s the beauty of life.

There’s no two people that are alike, even identical twins are different.

It’s a natural human tendency to compare yourself to other people.

We all come to earth with our own unique gifts and talents, and if you focus on
what you have and the gifts that you’ve been given and try to make use of it –
then you don’t have time to compare yourself to other people.

You have to work on your inner appearance before you can work on your outer
appearance with style and fashion.

Embrace your uniqueness!

Aloha and Mahalo for watching

 

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episode #016 – 10 Questions You Need To Include In The Conversation You Have With Yourself Everyday

10 Questions

In this episode I share with you the10 questions
you need to include in the conversation you
have with yourself everyday.

The person we have a conversation with the
most every single day is ourselves.  You may
not have even realized it until now, but if you
just take a moment to think about all the things
that you think about every day of your life, you’ll
come to realize that most of it was talking to
yourself , also know as: conversations with
yourself.

It’s pretty amazing when you think about it, that we have these conversations
all day long and I wonder how in the world can we do that when we have so
many things going on.

These conversations actually do one of two things: they either help us or
hurt us.  And this is what I mean, it so easy for us to say negative things
to ourselves when we feel like we’re not smart enough or when we compare
ourselves to other people and much more.  By doing that and saying these
negative things to ourselves, it really has such a hurtful effect on your mind,
body and spirit.

Now when on an occasion or two we say good things to ourselves, then
it helps our happy hormones to feel good and leads us to feel happiness
and joy.  That also makes our mind, body and spirt happy too, and we
want to feel happiness and joy right?

I would love for you to start having great conversations with yourself as
soon as possible.  You’re definitely worth it and I hope that you know
know that you’re worth it.

I have a list of 10 questions that I put together for you to use everyday.
Start each day by reviewing all of these questions so that it can eventually
become cemented in your mind, which will lead to you automatically asking
yourself these questions on a daily basis.  It’s a pretty neat things to have
that happen.

Many years ago I started to ask my self these questions and many more
all the time.  It’s amazing what you start to realize when you do this everyday.

These are the questions:

1.  How can I make it important to consider and honor my own needs?

~You need to honor and take care of yourself first in order for you
to take care of other people.

2.  What is it going to take for me to start speaking the truth to myself,
     because truth is powerful?

~Have you ever heard the saying that truth hurts?  Well, it only hurts
when you are in denial about something.  Once you are ready to
face the truth, the truth will set you free.  I’m sure you’ve heard that
too.  It’s really not that scary like you might think.

3.  How am I going to know of my self-worth which is priceless?

~Knowing your worth is the key to everything which makes it
priceless.  Many of your struggles would disappear if you knew
your worth deep down in your heart.  The worth of your soul
is great in the sight of God.

4.  How can I let go of any fear that I have?

~Holding on to fear can be so devastating in so many ways. If you
haven’t already listened to episode #011 on Fear, then I invite you
to go and listen to it after.  Letting go of fear is so liberating.

5.  Do I have things that I doubt?  And if I do how do I let it go of that doubt?

~Doubt your doubt before you just accept it.  Episode #012 of this
podcast is about Doubt, so go and listen to that episode if you
haven’t had the opportunity yet and it will help you understand
a little bit more about this crazy thing called doubt.

6.  How do I let go of any shame that I feel?

~So many times shame just gets in the way of moving forward and
asking questions.  Again, in this podcast I created episode #013
that talks about Shame.  Please go and listen to it to get a better
understanding of shame.

7.  What value do I bring to my life and to those that are in my life?

~Have you ever thought about the value that you bring to yourself
and anyone else that you come in contact with, including your
family, friends, co-workers, etc?  Everyone has value that is
important to relationships, starting with the relationship with
yourself and then with everyone else.  The gifts, talents and
knowledge that you possess are of great value and need to
be held as such.  All of those things helps to create meaning
in your life and in the lives of those you care about.

8.  What is it going to take for me to feel joy everyday?

~Where here on earth to have joy as well as other things and
sometimes it’s hard to feel joy when life is moving so quickly.
So ask yourself if you’re feeling joy and if not, why not.

9.  Do I know that creativity is something that is already inside of me,
not outside of me?

~Everyone on this planet has the gift of creativity within them.  It is
not something that you acquire, it is a God given gift and it has a
purpose.  Everything you do is a creation.  Think about that everyday.

10. What do I need to do to be the creator of my success?

~It has to start with you and the decision that you make about creating
your success.  You have to want it and then take the steps needed in
order for success to happen.  Now, you don’t have to ask yourself
these questions in the order that I have them listed because it’s not
the order in which you ask these questions, but it’s the nature of the
questions themselves.
These are really powerful questions and to be asking yourself about
these things will have such a powerful effect on you and your life.
I can promise you that.

I have done it myself for years and I can tell you that it has had such a great
and powerful impact on me and how I live my life.  I know that I have become
a much better person in how I do things, the way I live my life and much more.
I’m not saying that I have it all figured out or I’m perfect because I don’t have
it all figured out and I know I’m far from perfect. I just feel better mentally,
emotionally and spiritually and I would love for you to feel all of that too.

Like I always say, write things down, get it out of your head and on to paper.
Writing things down has power.  It’s amazing what happens when you actually
read your own writing.  As much as possible I recommend writing thing down
on paper with a writing instrument of some kind instead of typing it out on your
phone or computer.

I invite you to try this out for 7 days and see how you feel after just a week of
asking yourself these powerful questions.  You will be glad you did.

Please send me an email at janin@fashionablefinance.com and let me know if
you’ve tried this exercise and how it worked for you.  I would really love to hear
from you.  I welcome any questions that you might have as well.

You can also go to www.fashionablefinance.com and leave me a voice
message through the tab on the right side of the screen.

You can connect with me at facebook.com/fashionablefinance.com and
www.twitter.com/janinjohnston

Please share this podcast with a friend or family member who you
think would get some value out of listening to the different episodes.
I really appreciate it, mahalo for doing that.

I hope you are enjoying listening to this podcast!

If you’re not already subscribed to this podcast then please subscribe in
iTunes, so that you’ll never miss an episode.

I would really appreciate it if you would give this podcast  a rating and review
in iTunes.

a huihou malama pono, which means – until next time, take care

Connect with me:  janin@fashionablefinance.com

Mahalo for listening.

Aloha, Janin Johnston

Music by: Dennis Pavao
Song: Ipo Lei Manu
Album: Wale No
Produced by: Pilialoha Production
If you would like to order a copy of this CD you
can send an email request to Pilialoha Productions
at: makai@maui.net

Dennis Pavao-Album Cover

 

 

 

 

Permission was given to use the music from this
artist.

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