Tag Archives: Relationship with Money

Money Can Take The Luster Out Of Life

Do you ever feel like money takes the luster out of life?

Money is something people really don’t like to talk about, but we all want money.

We have to get to a point where we get comfortable talking about it and figure out
how we can deal with it and not let it suck the life out of us.

When you’re stressed about money, it shows on your face, it shows up in the
conversations that you have.

Don’t give all of your good energy to stressing over money.

There are things that you can do to alleviate a lot of that stress, like prepare, take
the time to figure out how much money you can set aside every month to use as backup.

Aloha, Janin

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Your Self-Worth Matters!

√7:14:16 How you feel aboutyourself on the insidewill always show onthe outside.

Have you ever felt like there are some things that you’re struggling with
and that you’ll never overcome them?  I know I have!

There seems to be a problem that’s common among many of the women that I talk with
in my community, women that I teach and women that I do business with… and, it’s low
self-worth.  Have you ever thought about that?

With all of the things that get in our way, low self-worth is the one (thing) that is not so
recognizable.  Now why is that?  I’d like to share with you what I know and what I’ve

Low self-worth affects everything you do.

It’s really running your life without you even realizing that it’s happening.

Low self-worth has symptoms like a low grade fever – it’s there, but not that noticeable
or recognizable, so you still go about your daily life trying to get things done.  You feel
like there’s a conflict that’s going on inside of you.

You start to wonder and even question yourself about what could be happening.  Could
there be a problem with me?  Do you dare to even wonder about something like that, is
it even possible?

You think to yourself ‘someone please tell me what’s going on!’… When is this (frustration)
going to stop? (that’s what I’ve said to myself).  Aren’t things supposed to get easier as
life and time goes on, and, as your skills and knowledge about yourself and life grow?

You are made up of many, many layers as a human being – some of the main ones are
the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical layers that are inseparably a part of you.

Therefore, there are triggers that make some of those layers start shaking, and, you
have no idea what’s going on!  It happens week after week, month after month and
you start to get really frustrated with yourself and your life.

Triggers come from many sources that you probably have never even thought of.
Take a look at some of the sources that are listed below that affect your self-worth.

Sources of Low Self-Worth:

  • Family
  • Your role in your family growing up
  • How you were treated and that same treatment was transferred down
    from generations
  • If you were abused
  • What people have told you
  • Cultural experiences
  • Modeled by other people in your family
  • Stories you tell yourself
  • Your role in social groups

Things People Have Said To You:

  • Don’t be big head
  • Who do you think you are
  • Don’t show off
  • Why can’t you be like your brother/sister
  • You’re stupid
  • Don’t be an idiot
  • You’re not smart enough
  • Keep your mouth shut and stop asking so many questions

Signs & Symptoms of Low Self-Worth:

  • Need validation
  • Put on a facade
  • Admire other peoples gifts and not your own
  • Refuse to set goals because you know you won’t reach it
  • Always trying to please people
  • Tired all the time
  • No motivation
  • Self-conscious
  • You don’t start things or don’t take action
  • Can’t look in the mirror without thinking bad things about yourself
  • Focused on yourself

Thoughts, Feelings & Emotions (DISGUISED):

  • “I’m not smart enough”
  • “I’m not pretty enough”
  • “What will people think of me”
  • Shame
  • Fear
  • Doubt
  • Worry about being rejected
  • Afraid that people will find out about your feelings of low self-worth

Things You Say To Yourself Out Loud:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I’m not smart enough
  • I’m so bad
  • I can’t afford that
  • No sense I set a goal when I know I won’t reach it!

Noticeable Behaviors:

  • Over extend yourself because, you can’t say NO!
  • Bullying, exerting power over someone
  • Abusive
  • Undisciplined
  • Lazy
  • Sleep a lot
  • Sarcastic
  • Give up half way through things
  • Don’t do what you say you’re going to do
  • Procrastinate
  • Always saying “I can’t afford it”
  • Critical to yourself and others
  • Overachiever
  • Underachiever

Intangible Effects Of Low Self-Worth:

  • Not following your dreams
  • Low self-esteem
  • What you choose to believe about yourself
  • Comparison

Visual Effects:

  • Wear clothes that are too tight
  • Wear clothes that are too large
  • Wear clothes that are worn out
  • Wear clothes that are not age appropriate

*Your clothes are an expression of how you feel about yourself on the inside.

                     √7:13:16Your Worth And Money Are NOT Synonymous

Financial Effects:

  • Spend more money than you have
  • Rack up credit card debt
  • Don’t buy nice things for yourself
  • Don’t keep track of your money and spending
  • Not able to differentiate between needs and wants

*Your relationship with money is not only a mindset, but it’s also a whole way of being.

Your self-worth drives everything you do!

How you feel about your worth as a human being is so powerful that If you allow it,
low self-worth will always win out in the end.

It’s so important to know of your worth and that you’re worth is great!

This is what I recommend:
1.  Acknowledge your gifts, talents and skills that you have, that you’ve gained or acquired.
Know who you truly are!

2.  Know that what you do matters in the lives of the people you touch.

3.  Have a desire to want to know of your worth, even if you can’t see your worth,
you can come to feel of your worth.

Combat low self-worth with truth!

You can always have peace when you speak the truth to yourself.  Maybe you weren’t
told how special you are and that you’re a gift from God, but that doesn’t mean that
it’s not true.  I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that it is true!

Be charitable to yourself, you’re always charitable to other people, so, don’t forget
about you and that you matter.  Make this journey you’re on worth every moment as
you feel of your self-worth.

                 The Worth OfYour Soul Is GreatIn The Sight Of God


When you focus on your gifts that you’ve been given from God, then you will start to
feel your worth as you use those gifts to serve others and well as yourself.  It might
feel like a slow and gradual process of getting to know and feel of your self-worth,
but, what a great feeling it will be.

You and I – together, let’s toss out this low self-worth and low grade fever, so that we
don’t give it any room to move around or grow!

The time to feel and know of your worth is now!

Let me help you create an amazing relationship with yourself.
Connect with me at janin@fashionablefinance.com



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What’s The Difference Between How Men and Women Think About Money?

The difference, It’s like night and day the way men and women think about their money,
it’s amazing how the different it really is.  Of course this is not the case for ever single
person out there in the world, but it is pretty common.

Listed below are 3 major differences that I see and hear all the time:

Difference #1 – Men aren’t afraid to ask for the amount of money they want and women
                            will just take what ever is given to them.

Difference #2 – Men don’t get over emotional about money and women will feel like
                            their not good enough.

Difference #3 – Men know that they need to make money to live and aren’t afraid to
                           go and do whatever they need to and women worry about finding 
                           just the right job first.

These 3 major differences can be a good or bad thing depending on a persons situation.
The only good thing I see is that we can learn something from these differences.

Men usually model their lives after their father or male figure that was in their life and
women usually do the same, finding themselves doing things just like their mother
or woman figure.  Sometimes men and women don’t even realize that they do these
kinds of things.

Difference #1 can be very scary for a lot of women, asking for money is not something
that is taught will growing up while men just seem to have that ability naturally.
You could ask yourself a question like:  How can I have the courage to ask for money?
Getting help from people that know how to help you is a must.

Difference #2, it’s real important to keep emotions out of the topic of money even though
it’s a hard thing to do because everyone is in a different place with their emotionally.
Ladies, when ever the subject of money comes up, remind yourself that getting over
emotional about money is not going to empower you or make your money situation
better.  Reminding yourself continually may be a great way to keep your emotions in
check.  Try it, you might like it!

Difference #3, quite often men will take the first job offer that comes their way if they
know they need money and they need it now and then they will consider looking at
other options.  Women have a great need to be happy where ever they are and at what
ever they are doing, that’s why it may take a little longer for women to find work because
they need to do a lot of research on each company or place that they are considering
before they apply and move forward.  

Ladies, if you’re not in a rush or need money immediately, I would keep doing what you’re
doing when looking for work.  Keep doing your research and find those places that you
know would make you happy.  But, if you do need money immediately, I would recommend
that you take action quickly and find something that will bring in income immediately and
then keep doing your research on finding work that will bring you happiness and job

It’s O.K. that men and women are different, that’s what makes life so interesting.
Oh yah, and keeps us on our toes!  Never a dull moment.

We can learn something from men. 🙂

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Made Money Mistakes? No Problem, Two Questions To Ask Yourself

Made Money Mistakes?  No Problem, Two Questions To Ask Yourself

We’ve all done it … made money mistakes.  At the tine that we are making
these money mistakes, it’s not in our awareness that we will regret it
sooner or later.  After all it’s what’s making us happy at the moment so why
would it matter right now!

Then, low and behold it happens … for whatever reason, we have strong
feelings of regret for using our money in a way that was unnecessary or

Now what do we do?

Because we’re all different, it means that you have to look at the situation
differently.  Listed below are some of the statements that could describe
you and your reason for making money mistakes:

*I was stressed and needed to spend my money to relieve my stress.
*I got into an argument with my spouse or significant other and the
first thing I thought of was to spend money.
*I couldn’t say no to my child/children when they were nagging me
to buy them something (or a specific item).
*I wanted to impress my friend/s and buy them a gift even though I
didn’t have enough money and used credit.
*I wanted to impress my friend/s and buy them dinner even though
I didn’t have enough money and used credit.
*I bought things for my house that I couldn’t afford and was way out
out of my price range.
*I went grocery shopping and bought more then I planned because
there were some items that I just had to have that I was craving
and now, I don’t have enough money to pay on of my household
*I bought an item that I didn’t have money for by signing up for a
store credit card that was offering a special promotion with a
great payment plan option, even though I knew that I couldn’t
make the monthly payment.

Obviously there’s a lot more situations that happen, but I hope you get the
of what’s listed above.  There’s always a reason why we make money
and the best thing that you can do for yourself is to recognize what
you did and 
why you did it.

Then there’s the ‘accepting it’ part that might be a little hard to bear, but remember
that sometimes these things are going to happen because we are emotional
human beings and occasionally our emotions will get the best of us.

This life is all about learning and growing, you can’t learn anything and grow
if you don’t go through these situations.  These so called ‘money mistakes’
can be a very powerful learning and growing experience as long as you are
willing to accepts it as such.  If you can do that, then you’re well on your
way to making better money decisions later on.

Every time you have a need or desire to spend money, make sure to ask yourself
a couple of questions before you open your wallet.

The first question is:  Why am I spending money right now?
If the answer to that question is anywhere close to the set of statements listed
then I would recommend that you close your wallet and walk away.

The second question to ask yourself is:  Will I regret making this purchase
after I leave the store?
If the answer to that question is a “maybe”, “possibly”, “I don’t know” or “yes”
then close your wallet and walk away.  If it’s something that you really want
and desire, then think about it for a day or two to make sure that you’re making
that purchase for the right reason.

Just asking yourself these powerful questions will make a big difference in how
use your money and lessen the chances of making more money mistakes.



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Don’t Look Back

There are times in your life that you don’t always make the best decisions
about certain things and 
so it is, it’s done, you’ve done things that you wish
you didn’t.   Hopefully you
can see the lesson that was being taught as you
were in the middle of your
“not so great decisions”.  Like that says goes:
Hind sight is 20/20.  After all
that was said and done, It’s a lot easier to see
the whole picture in the end.  

Don’t Look Back!  

It’s so important to learn from what you’ve done and to move on.  Life is to short
to be holding on things that can bring you down. 

There’s a really cool song by the Rock Band named Boston and the name of the
song is “Don’t Look Back”, I really like the what this song is trying to say.

Here’s the lyrics to this cool song:
*Don’t look back, a new day is breakin’
It’s been too long since I felt this way
I don’t mind where I get taken
The road is callin’, today is the day

And I can see it took so long
Just to realize I’m much too strong not to compromise
Now I see what I am, is holding me down
I’ll turn it around

Oh, yes, I will

I finally see the dawn arrivin’
I see beyond the road I’m drivin’

It’s a new horizon and I’m awakin’
I see myself in a brand new way
The sun is shinin’, the clouds are breakin’
‘Cause I can’t lose now, there’s no game to play

I can tell there’s no more time left to criticize
I’ve seen what I could not recognize
Everything in my life was leading me on
But I can be strong

Oh, yes, I can!

I finally see the dawn arrivin’
I see beyond the road I’m drivin’
Ooohooo, far away and left behind
Left behind

Don’t look back, a new day is breakin’
It’s been so long since I felt this way
I don’t mind where I get taken
The rad is callin’, today is the day

And I can see it took so long
Just to realize I’m much too strong not to compromise
Now I see what I am, is hold me down
I’ll turn it around

Oho, yes, I will

I finally see the dawn arrivin’
I see beyond the road I’m drivin’
Far away and left behind

Don’t look back

  *   *   *   *   *

So if you’ve made decisions with your money and finances that have hurt you 
financially, Don’t Look Back! and start getting yourself down with negative
thoughts and feelings.  It’s all part of the learning process.  The main thing is

that you learn from your mistakes.  There is always someone to guide you
and show you the way to making better decisions with your money and 

Aloha, Janin 


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Learning To Make Friends With Your Money: How This Funny Idea Is A Good Idea

Have you ever thought about money in that way?  Making friends with it?

If you haven’t, then great!  I want to take you down a road of friendship.
Think about a friend that you have that’s a really good friend.  You both get
along really well, you’re always happy to see each other, there’s always a give
and take and selfishness has never shown its ugly self.

You know you have a really good friendship if both of you are laughing a lot,
sharing ideas, hopes and dreams, and sometimes even tears; tears of joy
and tears of sadness.

I hope that you all have at least one friendship like that; I know that I do
for sure.  What would life be like without one!  Probably a lot more difficult.

Sometimes, it takes some time to really have a solid friendship with your
money.  Just like your friendship with a person, sometimes it takes months
or even years for it to become solid for many reasons.

There’s a purpose for having friendships in your life as mentioned above,
and there’s also a purpose for being friends with your money.

Here’s some of the reasons why it’s a good idea:
Money, whether it’s made of paper or metal has an important purpose in
your life.

  • It doesn’t talk back (I’m being funny, but it’s true).
  • It doesn’t have selfish desires.
  • You can let it go and it will never have any hard feelings toward you.
  • It will never offend you.
  • It can bring you the food you need
  • It can bring you the clothes you need and want
  • It can provide a roof over your head
  • It can grow for you if managed well
  • It will stick around as long as you want it to!
  • It will let you use it to make someone else happy

These are just some of the things that being friends with your
money will do for you, there are a lot more that I didn’t list.

I just love how all of the things listed make you laugh, but
they are so true.  Doesn’t it just want to make you re-think
your relationship with money?

Being friends with your money doesn’t have to be hard,
you just have to want to be friends with it.

It is possible, the first thing you need to do is to decide.
Make that internal decision that you are going to get to that
point of friendship no matter what it takes.

The second thing you need to do is to ask for help.
Nobody gets to a better place all by himself or herself.
Progress is always made when there is support.

I would love to support you to get to where you want to be.

Please send me an email and let me know if you would like
to schedule a complimentary Fashionable Finance Discovery
Session at Janin@fashionablefinance.com

Posted in Articles, Finances, Inspiration, Internal Decisions, Money, Money Management, Relationship with Money | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment