Tag Archives: Doubt

episode #019 – Not Looking Back

Not Looking Back

I am here in beautiful Hawaii and I want to send the Aloha
Spirit out to all of you that are listening, I hope you feel it
and I hope you feel my love.

And I want to send out some Hawaiian Sunshine as well,
it makes you feel good.

I want to share with all of you about Not Looking Back:

Unfortunately It’s something that we all do…a lot!  I, myself
have caught myself looking back at all the things that I’ve
done in my life that was either – wrong, crazy, hurtful and
way to much more that I don’t even really want to think
about.  A number of years ago I realized that I had a tendency
to always look back at the negative things instead of the
positive things that I did.  Why do we do that?  We tend to
always look back at the negative and not the positive.

We’re all growing and learning were here on earth to learn and
grow, we’re not perfect.  So, that’s why sometimes we do those
crazy things like looking back at the negative instead of trying
to find out what was really good to and think about all those
good things we did.

Now, looking back on the negative is only a good thing when
you going to try and learn from it, when you’re going to try and
make better choices and maybe change direction in your life
and really be on a good path and maybe even trying to change
your behavior or anything like that.

But, it’s really not a good idea to look back at the negative and
then torture yourself about the bad things that you’ve done, and
it’s just a natural human tendency that we have.  We’re not taught
as little kids to look back the things that didn’t go right or the
things that we’ve done wrong and try to learn from it.

I think they need to teach all these things in school,  even as
early as elementary.  What do you think?  Let me know.

What impact it’s having on our lives when we think about all
the negative things, or just the whole idea of looking back at
the negative is kind of scary.

So, what impact is it having on your life, let me ask you that.
So think back at the last time you looked back at your past
and depending on how old you are, you can have many, many
years on things that you’ve done that maybe you wish you
could change.

Of course we can’t wish and we can’t change the past, but
think about things that you’ve thought about recently that
you’ve done in the past and it was really negative, and then
it just got you down thinking about it because, that’s one of
the things that looking at your negative past does to you – if
you’re not using it to help correct your life now and you’re just
trying to beat yourself up about all the bad things that you’ve
done.   

When was the last time you thought about that and what did
it do to you?

Did it put you in a state of depression?

Did it just want to make you eat sugar?

Did it just want to make you scream?

Think back to when the last time it was, it could have been
today, it could have been last month, who know!  We have so
many thoughts that go through our head every day that it’s
just amazing.        

Each podcast I always say “write everything down, get it out
of your head”, by now I hope that you actually have written
things down.  Maybe you bought a notebook or created your
own.  Write it down, it has such an amazing effect when you
physically write it on paper verses on your computer or smart
phone.

I’ve talked about this many times in my different episodes.
But think about it, write it down – what was the last thing that
you thought about that was negative and when was it.  Think
about how you could actually turn that around and make it so
that it could actually help you in your life verses just using it
to torture yourself, because that really doesn’t help you or
anyone around you.

Because when you start to get depressed or frustrated, we
tend to take it out on the people that are the closest to us –
our family and even sometimes friends or if you work.  If you
have a job around a lot of other people and somebody’s irritating
you, you might just want to take out your irritation on them.

Think about that, what is that thing that you keep thinking about?
A lot of times it’s just a couple of things, sometimes we don’t
think about the many, many things we did, but somethings
there’s a couple things that we tend to torture ourselves with.

I know because I’ve actually done that, I’ve realized that it was
usually just a couple of things that I used to torture myself with –
thinking about how stupid it was, why did I do that it made no sense.

Who knows what else, I don’t even want to remember the
thoughts that I was thinking at the time.

What you have to remember is that we’re human and we have
to learn all these things, nobody teaches us these things when
we were little.

So, if you’ve never been taught how to do certain things, now’s
a good time to start taking notes.

I always encourage people to listen to these episodes more
than once because you can always learn something new when
you listen to each episode more then one time, because there’s
so much content involved and so many things that I’m talking
about.

So, start by writing things out and just go back in your mind.
If it’s to hard, then maybe you have to work yourself up to
thinking about it instead of just trying to go back there in your
mind.

Sometimes if you think about it, when you actually can get it
out of your head – get it out of your thoughts, it’s easier to let
it go.  We like to hold on to every good and bad.

It’s not really healthy for us to hold on everything that’s not
working for us.  It’s a good start, it’s a good practice to have –
to write everything out.

It starts the process of you recognizing it and then eventually
you’ll have the ability to let it go.  Well, you actually have to
want to let it go first before you can let it go.

I would say, after you get it out on paper think about why you
were even thinking about that because sometimes when you’re
doing something, there’s always a trigger somewhere.  When
you’re doing something or you’re in a location or you’re around
certain people, there’s those triggers that pop into your head
and reminds you of the past of those negative things that you’ve
done.  Sometimes it’s a place or a person that is the cause of
this, we have to take responsibility ourselves for inappropriate
actions.

Sometimes if there’s another person involved, it could be the
other person just making you crazy and who knows you could
have said something really horrible or if that person was irritating
you, you could have just snapped and said something that really
you shouldn’t have that really hurt that other person.

Who knows, there’s endless possibilities of things that could
have happened.  Catch yourself too, as you go about your daily
life, really catch yourself in everything that you do.  Think about
the things that you say and the places that you go, think about
what  you’re doing and if you’re starting to say something that
you know you’re going to regret!  Then try to catch yourself and
stop yourself from saying something that could be really harmful
to somebody else and the more you practice that, the easier it
becomes to start catching yourself.

Of course it is a little bit of work, but once you get that habit
going of – always thinking about what you’re going to say first.
It really will make a big difference.

I’m on of those, that I like to speak my mind so sometimes I
don’t think about what I’m saying, I just open my mouth and I
realize that I shouldn’t have said that.  Now I really try to work
on thinking about what I’m going to say first.  I’ve been to places
where I’ve said things and then I thought “oh” and if my husband
was with me, he would tell me later “why did you say that!”  I
would just be in a state of shock like “oh, yah I don’t know why
I said that” and of course he’s either embarrassed or he’s just
confused as to why I say the things I say.

Sometimes we do that to our spouses, (but not on purpose)
It’s a give and take right! 😉

I just want to encourage you to try and catch yourself whenever
you’re going throughout your day and sometimes it doesn’t
even involve anybody else when you do things that really are
negative and sometimes it’s just you.  It’s O.K., just know t
hat you’re human and you’re just like everybody else who’s
trying to work through this life and learn and grow to become
a better person.

If you can just start with these few things, it will really make you
feel good.  I didn’t realize how good it made me feel when I
realized a while back that I was doing this crazy thing on just
torturing myself about all the negative things that I’ve ever done
in the past and it really was eye-opening and now I’m so glad
that I recognized it and I’m trying to work on  not torturing myself.
I’ve come a long way, it’s taken  awhile.  I don’t want to feel yucky
like that anymore and sometimes there’s no better word to use
then yucky, because yucky is just kind of a mishmash of a whole
bunch of feelings.  You just get tired after a while of feeling yucky
and you just don’t want it anymore.  You got to figure out why
you’re feeling yucky and one of the things that makes you feel
like that is just looking back on all this negativity.

Try and make it an effort, you might even want to make it a
practice everyday to start looking at all the positive things that
you’ve ever done, the people’s lives that you’ve impacted the
things that you’ve accomplished or anything that’s good.

Start cheering for yourself, start celebrating the wonderful things
that you’ve done.  Celebrating yourself, it doesn’t have to be
this big celebration that’s not what I’m talking about, but of
course you can do that if you want.

Just celebrate with yourself or with a friend or your family or
anybody.  Go out and get a snack or go get a bite to eat and
just celebrate and talk about the positive and you’ll be really
amazed at what a difference it will make and how you’ll feel.

I really encourage you to take this step forward because this
kind of looking back stuff really prevents you from moving
forward in your life.  It’s really hard to overcome things and
accomplish great things and great things are different to
everybody, but it’s really difficult when you’re constantly
looking back at the negative.

Try and NOT look back and try to work towards focusing on
the positive.

I promise you, you’ll be really happy and might even feel some
excitement that “hey, I can do this”.

I want you to email me, connect with me at janin@fashionablefinance.com,
let me know how you’re doing and if you need help I’ll would be happy
to help you, you can email me for a free consultation, you can send
me a voicemail – just go to my website at fashionablefinance.com
and on the right hand side is the voicemail tab you can leave me
a voicemail message and let me know what you think.

Your feedback is wonderful too, I really appreciate you letting
me know what you like and what you don’t and the things that
you want to hear about.

Again I would ask you to please share this podcast with anybody
who you think would get great value out of it, maybe you know
somebody struggling with something that maybe listening to
any of these episodes will help them.  You can send them to
my website at fashionablefinance.com and it has all the episodes
there, they can listen or you can go to iTunes and just search
for Fashionable Finance and while you’re there in iTunes, I would
love for you to give me a rating and an honest review – please
be honest so that I know what’s working and what’s not and
what you like and what you don’t like.

It’s O.K. I can take the truth, I’m more mature now so I can
deal with it.

I thank you again for listening I really appreciate you being here
and I hope you have a fantastic day.

a hui hou malama pono – until next time, take care

You can also find me at facebook.com/fashionablefinance.com
and www.twitter.com/janinjohnston

I hope you are enjoying listening to this podcast!

Subscribe to this podcast in iTunes or Stitcher Radio,
so that you’ll never miss an episode.

Connect with me:  janin@fashionablefinance.com

Mahalo for listening.

Aloha, Janin Johnston

Music by: Dennis Pavao
Song: Ipo Lei Manu
Album: Wale No
Produced by: Pilialoha Production
If you would like to order a copy of this CD you
can send an email request to Pilialoha Productions
at: makai@maui.net

Dennis Pavao-Album Cover

 

 

 

 

Permission was given to use the music from this
artist.

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episode #016 – 10 Questions You Need To Include In The Conversation You Have With Yourself Everyday

10 Questions

In this episode I share with you the10 questions
you need to include in the conversation you
have with yourself everyday.

The person we have a conversation with the
most every single day is ourselves.  You may
not have even realized it until now, but if you
just take a moment to think about all the things
that you think about every day of your life, you’ll
come to realize that most of it was talking to
yourself , also know as: conversations with
yourself.

It’s pretty amazing when you think about it, that we have these conversations
all day long and I wonder how in the world can we do that when we have so
many things going on.

These conversations actually do one of two things: they either help us or
hurt us.  And this is what I mean, it so easy for us to say negative things
to ourselves when we feel like we’re not smart enough or when we compare
ourselves to other people and much more.  By doing that and saying these
negative things to ourselves, it really has such a hurtful effect on your mind,
body and spirit.

Now when on an occasion or two we say good things to ourselves, then
it helps our happy hormones to feel good and leads us to feel happiness
and joy.  That also makes our mind, body and spirt happy too, and we
want to feel happiness and joy right?

I would love for you to start having great conversations with yourself as
soon as possible.  You’re definitely worth it and I hope that you know
know that you’re worth it.

I have a list of 10 questions that I put together for you to use everyday.
Start each day by reviewing all of these questions so that it can eventually
become cemented in your mind, which will lead to you automatically asking
yourself these questions on a daily basis.  It’s a pretty neat things to have
that happen.

Many years ago I started to ask my self these questions and many more
all the time.  It’s amazing what you start to realize when you do this everyday.

These are the questions:

1.  How can I make it important to consider and honor my own needs?

~You need to honor and take care of yourself first in order for you
to take care of other people.

2.  What is it going to take for me to start speaking the truth to myself,
     because truth is powerful?

~Have you ever heard the saying that truth hurts?  Well, it only hurts
when you are in denial about something.  Once you are ready to
face the truth, the truth will set you free.  I’m sure you’ve heard that
too.  It’s really not that scary like you might think.

3.  How am I going to know of my self-worth which is priceless?

~Knowing your worth is the key to everything which makes it
priceless.  Many of your struggles would disappear if you knew
your worth deep down in your heart.  The worth of your soul
is great in the sight of God.

4.  How can I let go of any fear that I have?

~Holding on to fear can be so devastating in so many ways. If you
haven’t already listened to episode #011 on Fear, then I invite you
to go and listen to it after.  Letting go of fear is so liberating.

5.  Do I have things that I doubt?  And if I do how do I let it go of that doubt?

~Doubt your doubt before you just accept it.  Episode #012 of this
podcast is about Doubt, so go and listen to that episode if you
haven’t had the opportunity yet and it will help you understand
a little bit more about this crazy thing called doubt.

6.  How do I let go of any shame that I feel?

~So many times shame just gets in the way of moving forward and
asking questions.  Again, in this podcast I created episode #013
that talks about Shame.  Please go and listen to it to get a better
understanding of shame.

7.  What value do I bring to my life and to those that are in my life?

~Have you ever thought about the value that you bring to yourself
and anyone else that you come in contact with, including your
family, friends, co-workers, etc?  Everyone has value that is
important to relationships, starting with the relationship with
yourself and then with everyone else.  The gifts, talents and
knowledge that you possess are of great value and need to
be held as such.  All of those things helps to create meaning
in your life and in the lives of those you care about.

8.  What is it going to take for me to feel joy everyday?

~Where here on earth to have joy as well as other things and
sometimes it’s hard to feel joy when life is moving so quickly.
So ask yourself if you’re feeling joy and if not, why not.

9.  Do I know that creativity is something that is already inside of me,
not outside of me?

~Everyone on this planet has the gift of creativity within them.  It is
not something that you acquire, it is a God given gift and it has a
purpose.  Everything you do is a creation.  Think about that everyday.

10. What do I need to do to be the creator of my success?

~It has to start with you and the decision that you make about creating
your success.  You have to want it and then take the steps needed in
order for success to happen.  Now, you don’t have to ask yourself
these questions in the order that I have them listed because it’s not
the order in which you ask these questions, but it’s the nature of the
questions themselves.
These are really powerful questions and to be asking yourself about
these things will have such a powerful effect on you and your life.
I can promise you that.

I have done it myself for years and I can tell you that it has had such a great
and powerful impact on me and how I live my life.  I know that I have become
a much better person in how I do things, the way I live my life and much more.
I’m not saying that I have it all figured out or I’m perfect because I don’t have
it all figured out and I know I’m far from perfect. I just feel better mentally,
emotionally and spiritually and I would love for you to feel all of that too.

Like I always say, write things down, get it out of your head and on to paper.
Writing things down has power.  It’s amazing what happens when you actually
read your own writing.  As much as possible I recommend writing thing down
on paper with a writing instrument of some kind instead of typing it out on your
phone or computer.

I invite you to try this out for 7 days and see how you feel after just a week of
asking yourself these powerful questions.  You will be glad you did.

Please send me an email at janin@fashionablefinance.com and let me know if
you’ve tried this exercise and how it worked for you.  I would really love to hear
from you.  I welcome any questions that you might have as well.

You can also go to www.fashionablefinance.com and leave me a voice
message through the tab on the right side of the screen.

You can connect with me at facebook.com/fashionablefinance.com and
www.twitter.com/janinjohnston

Please share this podcast with a friend or family member who you
think would get some value out of listening to the different episodes.
I really appreciate it, mahalo for doing that.

I hope you are enjoying listening to this podcast!

If you’re not already subscribed to this podcast then please subscribe in
iTunes, so that you’ll never miss an episode.

I would really appreciate it if you would give this podcast  a rating and review
in iTunes.

a huihou malama pono, which means – until next time, take care

Connect with me:  janin@fashionablefinance.com

Mahalo for listening.

Aloha, Janin Johnston

Music by: Dennis Pavao
Song: Ipo Lei Manu
Album: Wale No
Produced by: Pilialoha Production
If you would like to order a copy of this CD you
can send an email request to Pilialoha Productions
at: makai@maui.net

Dennis Pavao-Album Cover

 

 

 

 

Permission was given to use the music from this
artist.

Posted in Podcast | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

episode #013 – Shame

 Aloha, in this episode I talk about shame.
I referenced episode #011 on Fear and episode #012 on Doubt.
Fear, Doubt and Shame are the three main things that women
suffer from.

Shame is a painful emotion that we need to talk about, woman
want to just hide it under the rug, but I don’t want that for you.
We need to figure out how to get rid of these feelings that are
not serving us.

There’s no room in our life for fear, doubt and shame.

Growing up, have you ever had an adult say to you “shame on you”?  If you
did, said or behaved in a certain way?

We don’t think about how it’s going to affect our kids when we say those
things to them.

Everything that goes on in our lives shapes who we are and who we become
and the feelings we have.  We take things on.

We need to work on letting go:

First – acknowledge that you have shame within yourself.

Shame will look different for everyone – some people have shame about how
they look, shame of being in public, or speaking up, there are so many because
we are all so different.

You can quiet down those feelings and let it go by understanding how it affects
you in your daily life, being ashamed about so many things prevents you from
achieving the things that you want or prevents you from moving forward on things.

The only way to accomplish things is to get out of our comfort zone and do the
things that are scary and do the things that you feel are shameful even though they
may not be.

I will always tell you to write things down on paper, writing with a physical instrument
will make a big difference.  Write everything down that you can remember about the
shame that you’re feeling, when it started, why you think you have this kind of shame
even though it might be scary, but in the end you’ll be glad you did.

Get it out of your head so that you can work on letting it go.

This will help you move forward in the right direction.  Holding on to the shame that
you have inside of you is not helping you at all.

Denial is also a really big enemy.

We have to have the good and the bad in our life, there’s no way that everything can
always be good.  We have to have the bad so that we can appreciate the good –
opposition helps us to grow and overcome those things, that’s how God intended life
to be.

Don’t be hard on yourself and get yourself down, it is possible to overcome all of these
things.  It may take a little time because you’ve probably had these feelings for a really
long time.  It’s amazing how long someone can hold on to feelings of fear, doubt and
shame.

Change is really hard and can be scary, but the more you experience change – you
start to realize that “hey it’s not so bad after all”.

Letting go could mean the unknown, what’s on the other end. If we let go of something,
you’ll feel much better and feel different.

Letting go will feel much better than holding on to the shame and other feelings that
are negative that aren’t helping you.

Sometimes it’s better to get some help with understanding and figuring out these
things, so if you would like my help you can email me at
janin@fashionablefinance.com
we can see if there’s any way that we can work together.  I’m here to support and
guide you in a way that would be best for you.

If you know anyone who is suffering from shame, then have them listen to this
podcast and share with them what you’re learning, it’s always good to help other
people.

Women love to talk with other women and discuss the problems of their day, so
how about you talk with each other about this subject of SHAME.

It always feels good when you help somebody that you care about, so I encourage
you to share this podcast with the people that you know.

Shame affects our lives by making us feel like were not good enough, shame has
so many different faces.  If you don’t feel like you’re good enough to do very many
things, then you just go through life living the same-old, same-old not wanting to
stretch yourself or to make improvements or to work towards a dream or goal that
you have.

You are worth your dreams and it’s worth going towards your goals, we all have
dreams and goals.

We let life get in the way because we aren’t paying attention to those things that
are really important and shame seems to get in our way.

It pops up and gets in our face and makes you feel like you can’t do it or you’re
not worth it.

If you’re feeling uncomfortable, it’s OK, the feeling should pass, it won’t stay with
you forever.  Feel those feelings because if you try to ignore it that’s when shame
pops up in your face, and you’re not going to know what it is or how to deal with it.
It’s so important to know how to recognize it.

You’re worth it, you’re worth the time it takes to get out of the denial and face your
shame and admit that you have it so you can overcome it.

Good and bad words have power whether we realize it or not, everything you hear
and say affects you emotionally, mentally, spiritually.  So if you ever hear someone
that you know say “shame on you” please encourage them to not say that.

If you can learn to speak up and start to recognize these things and be vocal about
it will be so much more powerful in helping move you forward in overcoming this
shame.

Fear, doubt and shame holds you and keeps you down and makes you crazy
because you just don’t understand why it’s there or why doesn’t it just go away.

I welcome any comments or questions if you have any.

Would you like me to share a new Hawaiian word on each episode of this podcast.
The Hawaiian language is so beautiful and fascinating, that’s why I use the word
“Aloha” a lot because it more then one meaning.  It means: love, hello, goodbye, I
care.  And so much more.

A hui hou malama pono (take care, until we meet again)

I hope you are enjoying listening to this podcast!

Please share this podcast with anyone that you know of
who will benefit from the things that are in each episode.

Subscribe to this podcast in iTunes or Stitcher Radio,
so that you’ll never miss an episode.

Connect with me:  janin@fashionablefinance.com

Mahalo for listening.

Aloha, Janin Johnston

Music by: Dennis Pavao
Song: Ipo Lei Manu
Album: Wale No
Produced by: Pilialoha Production
If you would like to order a copy of this CD you
can send an email request to Pilialoha Productions
at: makai@maui.net

Dennis Pavao-Album Cover

 

 

 

 

Permission was given to use the music from this
artist.

 

Posted in Inspiration, Podcast | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

episode #012 – Doubt-It Doesn’t Have To Be!

Doubt - It Doesn't Have To Be!

Aloha, in this episode I talk about Doubt – It Doesn’t Have To Be!

I think a lot about all of you listeners every day and whatI can
share with you, and to share the things that I’ve learned and the
experiences that I had.

I want to talk about Doubt-It Doesn’t Have To Be!  I have met so
many people who suffer from doubt, we have so much that we
doubt in our daily lives.

I wanted to see the dictionary’s definition of ‘doubt’ and it says:to
be uncertain about, to consider questionable or unlikely, hesitate
to believe, to distrust, to fear, to be apprehensive about, to be
uncertain about something to be undecided in opinion or belief.

How many of you have a lot of doubt within you?

Fear and doubt have a strong connection.  Have you ever been
in a conversation with someone and they say to you “I doubt it”
without even doing the research and finding out if something is
true or not?

Have you ever questioned your doubt?  You should always doubt
the doubt before we just accept it.

Women suffer from Fear, Doubt and Shame.  What do you doubt in
your life?  Doubt comes from different places just like fear.  Doubt
really stops us from achieving a lot of things and has us feeling like
we can’t move forward.  It also prevents us from feeling joy and creating.

Writing everything down on paper about your doubt is a great way to
figure out what is it that you’ve been doubting all these years.  Write
down whatever’s going on in your life.  Write down if it’s a person that
your doubting, is it a place your at right now or is it a thing in your life
that you’re doubting.  Take the time to figure out what your doubts are.

We have to have trials and struggles in life, that’s how we can learn and
grow and to gain knowledge to be able to overcome our weaknesses,
that’s how God created life to be.

There is a doubt that you have that is preventing you from overcoming
a lot of things or achieving your goals.

Question the doubts.

Everyone I know has conversations in their mind, so why noT have a
conversation with yourself about figuring out what your doubts are and
how to overcome them.  Work it out in your mind.

We all have strengths and weaknesses.

If you need help with figuring out what you’re having doubts about, I
will be happy to help you, send me an email at janin@fashionablefinance.com.

Doubt is a big killer of joy and creativity.  Creativity is not limited to drawing
and painting, everything we do everyday is creative and were always creating.

I love people, I think people are really fascinating and we all need each other.
There’s so much we as women have to offer so many people, that’s why we
need to let go of the doubt.

I would love your feedback, send me your comments or questions.

Make sure you visit www.fashionablefinance.com and leave me a voice
message through the Speakpipe app.

You can also find me at facebook.com/fashionablefinance.com and
www.twitter.com/janinjohnston

I hope you are enjoying listening to this podcast!

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Mahalo for listening.

Aloha, Janin Johnston

Music by: Dennis Pavao
Song: Morningside
Album: Wale No
Produced by: Pilialoha Production
If you would like to order a copy of this CD you
can send an email request to Pilialoha Productions
at: makai@maui.net

Dennis Pavao-Album Cover

 

 

 

 

Permission was given to use the music from this
artist.

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