Tag Archives: awareness

Feeling and Being Discouraged!

Feeling discouraged can be very frustrating especially if you feel
discouraged a lot!

This is what I know: the word ‘discourage’ is the direct opposite of
‘courage’.  I know that many women have been discouraged once
or twice in their lives (maybe more).

Being discouraged can make you crazy!  Especially if you hold
on to the feeling of discouragement for a long period of time.
Sometimes it’s really hard to get out of or let go of that crazy
cycle of feeling and being discouraged.

I do have to say that it is important for all of us to experience
these types of feelings, so that we can come to that place of
knowing what it feels like, what was the reason or thing that
got us in to that funky place (as I like to call it) in the first place
and that we never ever want to go back there again if possible.

Of course if you’re at that mastery level of being in total control
of your mind, feelings and emotions, then that’s really great.
End of story!  But… if you’re not at that mastery level then this
is for you.

There are so many reasons why you would get in to that funky
place of feeling and being discouraged that it’s almost
impossible to mention all of them here.  Especially because
of how different you are from everyone else.

Now that’s a good thing, that you’re different from everyone
else.

You are a unique soul and don’t ever let anyone tell you
otherwise.

One reason for feeling discouraged that I would like to mention
is when things aren’t going the way that you’d like them to go.
Now that’s a big one because we as women are so used to
taking care of everyone and everything, we know how we like
things done and when we want it done (like now!)  Ha ha, funny
but true.

When things aren’t going the way we want and it’s taking way
too long, we can get discouraged very easily because we are
so used to making things happen.  Obviously there may be a
feeling of anger at first but, when it’s out our control that anger
can turn to discouragement.

It’s one thing to feel discouraged but it’s another thing to
be/being discouraged.

If you’re at that point of being and you’ve been there for a while,
it’s probably not a good feeling that you want to hold on to.
It is possible to get out of that funky place.  If you let it hold on
to you for a long period of time, it could prevent you from so
many things in life.

You don’t want to get to that point of depression and stress.

Take a deep breath and know that help is on the way!  🙂

The number one thing that you can do is to acknowledge
who you are and what your gifts are.  You are a wonderful
women here on earth to grow and learn, to gain all kinds of
experiences that will make you in to a better person if you let it.

Your gifts are so important for you as a woman.

I can’t stress that enough here.  You were given gifts that are
only for you.  Those gifts are to bless you personally and to bless
those around you and whom you come in contact with through
out your life.

Remember that feeling and being discouraged is only temporary.

Remembering what your gifts are can help you to have the courage
to move forward no matter what is going on in your life and to get
out of that ‘discourage’ trap that is easy to fall into.

Mahalo for watching.

Aloha, Janin

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Do You Have Bumps And Bulges You Want To Hide?

Find out what a printed fabric can do for you!

There are many types of fabric out there like I mentioned in my previous video
and I want to share with you in this video about the design or print that’s on
the fabric of the clothes that you’re wearing.

Sometimes when you go shopping for clothes, you are automatically are
attracted to the print or color.

Busy print fabric hides a lot of things like bumps and bulges, and

cotton fabric that is woven will camouflage your bumps and bulges because
it doesn’t cling to your body like a knitted shirt or blouse will.

We all want to look nice in our clothes, so pay attention to all the little details
of the clothes that you’re wearing.

Let me know if this video has helped you.

Mahalo for watching.

Aloha, Janin 

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It’s Not Too Late To Care About Your Body!

Do you ever feel like it’s too late for you to care about your body?

It’s a really serious question and you don’t have to think about that
only at the beginning of the new year.

Knowing how to dress and what style would look good on you is
important, but, things that are deep down inside within us is more
important.

What’s important is that you care about what’s in your heart and in
your mind, that guides everything that we do.

How do you want to feel everyday when you wake up?

Decide right now how you want to feel everyday, because you’re
worth it – you have value.

Aloha, Janin

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The Right Color Bra To Wear With White Shirt

Do you know what color bra you should be wearing when you get dressed?

Bra straps, you can see them through your clothes, especially when you are
wearing a white or beige shirt.  It’s important to pay attention to the color of
your bra, because you don’t want people to see your bra or underwear when
you are dressed and out and about – you want people to pay attention to your
shirt, blouse or dress instead.

Aloha, Janin

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Clothing Labels-Why You Need To Cut Them Off

Garment manufacturers put the designer name, fiber content and washing instructions
labels and tags on your clothes.

Cut off the labels(and be really careful) that look unattractive and can cause itching at
the back of your neck.

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Top 10 Reasons Why ‘Knowing Who You Are’ Is Important

             Top 10 Reasons Why 'Knowing Who You Are' Is Important

1.  You can look at yourself in the mirror and smile with excitement for the day.

2.  Know what you’re really capable of doing.

3.  Have the ability to say YES or NO when you want to.

4.  Make better decisions on a daily basis.

5.  Make better financial decisions.

6.  Feel good in your clothes no matter what size you are.

7.  Feel confident when you meet other people.

8.  Recognize (with honesty) everything that’s going on in your life.

9.  Recognize and receive opportunities when they come your way.

10. Experience and feel joy every day!

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Your Self-Worth Matters!

√7:14:16 How you feel aboutyourself on the insidewill always show onthe outside.

Have you ever felt like there are some things that you’re struggling with
and that you’ll never overcome them?  I know I have!

There seems to be a problem that’s common among many of the women that I talk with
in my community, women that I teach and women that I do business with… and, it’s low
self-worth.  Have you ever thought about that?

With all of the things that get in our way, low self-worth is the one (thing) that is not so
recognizable.  Now why is that?  I’d like to share with you what I know and what I’ve
learned.

Low self-worth affects everything you do.

It’s really running your life without you even realizing that it’s happening.

Low self-worth has symptoms like a low grade fever – it’s there, but not that noticeable
or recognizable, so you still go about your daily life trying to get things done.  You feel
like there’s a conflict that’s going on inside of you.

You start to wonder and even question yourself about what could be happening.  Could
there be a problem with me?  Do you dare to even wonder about something like that, is
it even possible?

You think to yourself ‘someone please tell me what’s going on!’… When is this (frustration)
going to stop? (that’s what I’ve said to myself).  Aren’t things supposed to get easier as
life and time goes on, and, as your skills and knowledge about yourself and life grow?

You are made up of many, many layers as a human being – some of the main ones are
the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical layers that are inseparably a part of you.

Therefore, there are triggers that make some of those layers start shaking, and, you
have no idea what’s going on!  It happens week after week, month after month and
you start to get really frustrated with yourself and your life.

Triggers come from many sources that you probably have never even thought of.
Take a look at some of the sources that are listed below that affect your self-worth.

Sources of Low Self-Worth:

  • Family
  • Your role in your family growing up
  • How you were treated and that same treatment was transferred down
    from generations
  • If you were abused
  • What people have told you
  • Cultural experiences
  • Modeled by other people in your family
  • Stories you tell yourself
  • Your role in social groups

Things People Have Said To You:

  • Don’t be big head
  • Who do you think you are
  • Don’t show off
  • Why can’t you be like your brother/sister
  • You’re stupid
  • Don’t be an idiot
  • You’re not smart enough
  • Keep your mouth shut and stop asking so many questions

Signs & Symptoms of Low Self-Worth:

  • Need validation
  • Put on a facade
  • Admire other peoples gifts and not your own
  • Refuse to set goals because you know you won’t reach it
  • Always trying to please people
  • Tired all the time
  • No motivation
  • Self-conscious
  • You don’t start things or don’t take action
  • Can’t look in the mirror without thinking bad things about yourself
  • Focused on yourself

Thoughts, Feelings & Emotions (DISGUISED):

  • “I’m not smart enough”
  • “I’m not pretty enough”
  • “What will people think of me”
  • Shame
  • Fear
  • Doubt
  • Worry about being rejected
  • Afraid that people will find out about your feelings of low self-worth

Things You Say To Yourself Out Loud:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I’m not smart enough
  • I’m so bad
  • I can’t afford that
  • No sense I set a goal when I know I won’t reach it!

Noticeable Behaviors:

  • Over extend yourself because, you can’t say NO!
  • Bullying, exerting power over someone
  • Abusive
  • Undisciplined
  • Lazy
  • Sleep a lot
  • Sarcastic
  • Give up half way through things
  • Don’t do what you say you’re going to do
  • Procrastinate
  • Always saying “I can’t afford it”
  • Critical to yourself and others
  • Overachiever
  • Underachiever

Intangible Effects Of Low Self-Worth:

  • Not following your dreams
  • Low self-esteem
  • What you choose to believe about yourself
  • Comparison

Visual Effects:

  • Wear clothes that are too tight
  • Wear clothes that are too large
  • Wear clothes that are worn out
  • Wear clothes that are not age appropriate

*Your clothes are an expression of how you feel about yourself on the inside.

                     √7:13:16Your Worth And Money Are NOT Synonymous

Financial Effects:

  • Spend more money than you have
  • Rack up credit card debt
  • Don’t buy nice things for yourself
  • Don’t keep track of your money and spending
  • Not able to differentiate between needs and wants

*Your relationship with money is not only a mindset, but it’s also a whole way of being.

Your self-worth drives everything you do!

How you feel about your worth as a human being is so powerful that If you allow it,
low self-worth will always win out in the end.

It’s so important to know of your worth and that you’re worth is great!

This is what I recommend:
1.  Acknowledge your gifts, talents and skills that you have, that you’ve gained or acquired.
Know who you truly are!

2.  Know that what you do matters in the lives of the people you touch.

3.  Have a desire to want to know of your worth, even if you can’t see your worth,
you can come to feel of your worth.

Combat low self-worth with truth!

You can always have peace when you speak the truth to yourself.  Maybe you weren’t
told how special you are and that you’re a gift from God, but that doesn’t mean that
it’s not true.  I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that it is true!

Be charitable to yourself, you’re always charitable to other people, so, don’t forget
about you and that you matter.  Make this journey you’re on worth every moment as
you feel of your self-worth.

                 The Worth OfYour Soul Is GreatIn The Sight Of God

 

When you focus on your gifts that you’ve been given from God, then you will start to
feel your worth as you use those gifts to serve others and well as yourself.  It might
feel like a slow and gradual process of getting to know and feel of your self-worth,
but, what a great feeling it will be.

You and I – together, let’s toss out this low self-worth and low grade fever, so that we
don’t give it any room to move around or grow!

The time to feel and know of your worth is now!

Let me help you create an amazing relationship with yourself.
Connect with me at janin@fashionablefinance.com

Aloha,

Janin

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Are You A Shopaholic?

Are You A Shopaholic-I had an interesting conversation with a young bank teller yesterday, and I
would guess that she’s in her early 20’s – she was very open to sharing her
thoughts with me.

As she was working on my financial transaction, I was curious to know if
she managed her money(better) and made better financial decisions because
she worked at the bank.

I’m not afraid to ask people questions if I really want to know something…
so, I asked her if she learned to manage her money better because she
worked there and, if the bank sent her to some kind of training to her help
with her own finances.

She smiled at me and chuckled a little and then said “NO, I’m a Shopaholic
and the bank doesn’t teach their employees any of those things.”

She loves to buy clothes and I completely understand!

Who doesn’t want the latest and cutest style of clothes coming out every
month?  After all, we women need to look stylish, right?  😉

I find that it’s a really common thing among so many women of all ages
in society that don’t manage their money and don’t manage it very well.

Then I asked her how she keeps track of her money and she said that
she just uses the bank app that she downloaded onto her phone.

That is also what other women have told me for the last couple of years
about how they keep track of their money and finances.

Ladies, I don’t recommend that you try to keep track of your money
and finances on an app that you’ve downloaded onto your phone.
(This is my opinion from years of experience helping women)
The amount of hacking that is going on in the world today is just
unbelievable.  I’m not trying to scare anyone, I’m just sharing what
I have seen happen to people.  We all need to be aware of what’s
going on.

I love to ask really powerful questions all the time and I want to ask
you this:

What would happen if you lost your phone or it got stolen?

I know many people who have had those things happen to them.
Life at that moment becames a nightmare in so many ways and I’m
sure you’ve heard of some of those nightmares from someone you
know or know of.

It’s always better to write things down on paper and have a backup.
Many people I know keep track of their money and finances use an
excel spreadsheet, I’m one of them.  I also write everything down on
paper as well, because I like to see things written out – it makes more
sense to me.

Now, I know that an excel spreadsheet scares a lot of people, and if
that’s you, then just use a word or text document instead.  In the excel
spreadsheet that I created, I log in all of my receipts from shopping
(every single purchase) and I do this about every couple of days.  By
the end of the month I have a total of all my spending, which includes
necessities like food, gas, personal care products, etc.

You’ll be amazed what happens when you do this every month.

You’ll start to see where you’ve spent money frivolously and how  much
you’ve spent.  It’s an eye opener for sure!

Of course you don’t have to get all fancy like that with an excel spread-
sheet, just a piece of paper will work well too.

Let’s make our money work for us and not let it slip out of our hands so
easily…by letting the Shopaholic out and free to roam.

This bank teller was so sweet and before leaving, I thanked her for being
so honest with me and that I appreciated her sharing.

I know that talking about those things make people feel uncomfortable,
so let’s start talking about it so that it becomes comfortable.

Aloha, Janin

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What You Do, Depends On How You Feel, About What You Know

What You Do, Depends On...

Have you ever wondered why you do the things you do or why you
don’t do certain things?  I certainly have.  It’s been something that
I’ve been thinking about for a long, long time.

A few years ago I heard someone say that ‘What You Do, Depends
On How You Feel, About What You Know’, for some reason I don’t
remember who it was or why it was said, but I thought that was
so true!  I’m just like that!  What a great revelation it was!

Can you tell that I’m so excited about hearing that?

It really explains a lot about why I’ve done certain things in my life
and why I haven’t done accomplished the things that I thought I would.

What we do, on a regular basis usually happens because we’ve
created habits based on how we FEEL about certain things.  Sometimes
we just can’t help but run our lives with our emotions at the controls.

Knowing something is one thing, but, if we let our emotions take over
without thinking about what we know first … well, that could lead to doing
crazy things that might cause frustration 
later on.   

We all have experienced that kind of thing in our lives.(It’s O.K., you’re
in good company!)

Take charge of your emotions!  Don’t let them loose at any old time.
Think about how it’s going to affect you before it happens.

Aloha, Janin

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Negative Self-Talk

Negative Self-Talk - 2

When was the last time you ever listened to the things that you
said on a daily basis?  I think you would be surprised to hear all
the things that you’ve said to yourself throughout the day, and,
I can bet that a lot of it is negative(self-talk).

Have you ever heard the term or expression – you reap what you
sow?  Whatever you say usually tends to grow bigger and bigger
as time goes on.

Think of your mind as a place where you plant all your thoughts,
feelings and ideas about how you feel about yourself.

Your mind is like fertile soil, ready to grow whatever you put in it
(plant).  And, your daily negative thoughts are like water to the
seeds you’ve planted in the fertile soil which allows it to keep
growing.

THEN-

It becomes this crazy habit that keeps growing and growing –
which becomes so harmful to yourself.

We are not born with negative thoughts and when we learn to
talk, our first words as a baby is not something negative – it’s
usually dah-dah.  (It’ sad that it’s not “mama!”)

We imitate what we hear from those people around us. If you’ve
had adults around you who said a lot of negative things and had
negative self-talk when you were growing up, then the chances
that you will do the same is great.

Have you ever said any of these things to yourself?

  • I’m so fat.

  • I’m too short.

  • My hips are too big.

  • I’m ugly.

  • I’m already married, so it doesn’t matter what I
    look like.

  • No one is going to want to go out with me because
    I’m not attractive.

  • I’m too tall.

  • I don’t like the way I look.

There’s so much more that I can add to that list, but I won’t.

You know what you say to yourself, and, I bet that you have heard
other women say those things to themselves too.

How are you supposed to feel good about yourself?

How are you going to feel good in the clothes that
you wear if you are constantly saying those crazy things to
yourself?  How are you supposed to feel like you can have a
good relationship with anyone else if you don’t have a good
relationship with yourself?

Trying to ignore all those negative self-talks that you have with
yourself is not going to help you in any way, it will only hurt you
more.  It might have even become major dialog sessions that
you have with yourself on a daily basis.

Are you at the point of just not caring any more about taking care
of yourself?

I’m a big proponent for taking care of and appreciating your body
and I know it’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it.
(No matter what your dialog has been!)

How you take care
of and feel about your body is far more important than what you
wear. (I say that even when I feel that what you wear is extremely
important, it is second on my list of importance).

Negative self-talk is like poison to your body.

There is a book that I love that expresses this point, so much
better, the book is called ‘As A Man Thinketh’ by James Allen
and he says that “Disease and health, like circumstances, are
rooted in thought.  Sickly thoughts will express themselves
through a sickly body.” (page 35)

Now, is the time to replace those negative self-talks that you
have with questions, really powerful questions.  It may feel
strange at first, but if you have a desire to want something
better for yourself, then I urge you to make that effort.

You are worth it!

Write out on paper all the negative things that you recognize
that you’ve been saying to yourself.  You may have buried it
deep down in the abyss of your heart and mind, but just keep
writing, it will surface the more you keep writing.

If I could, I would do this exercise for you, but, as you know
the only way to make it work is for you to write it all out and
work through it yourself.

Question those negative words you’ve been saying.

For example:  If you have been saying to yourself ‘I’m ugly’,
then ask yourself if that’s really true and where did I(you) get
those thoughts from.  When did I(you) start saying that to myself?

Are you comparing yourself to movie stars, music stars, women
on the cover of magazines?  Did someone who didn’t like you
ever tell you that you were ugly?  Especially little kids, they say
the meanest things.  Did a kid say something mean to you when
you were a kid?

I have always believed in asking really great questions, all the
time.  It’s amazing what you’ll discover about yourself and life
when you make it a habit.

You might even have to ask yourself the same question in many
different ways – so keep asking.

What you’ll come to see is that negative self-talk is draining,
how much time was wasted doing it and that it only brought
you down.

I bet that you’re really not ugly, and who defines beauty anyway!
You need to define what beauty is and means to you, don’t
allow someone else to define it for you.

AND!

Never ever compare yourself to anyone else, especially the
movie and music stars and the airbrushed models on the
cover of all the magazines out there in the world, because,
you are unique because God made you that way(and that’s a
great thing).

If someone who didn’t like you told you that you were ugly,
then it’s really a sad thing for them.  They are the ones with
the problem, not you.  You probably were there to take the
brunt of their unhappiness, so keep that in mind if that does
ever happen to you.

Negative self-talk seems to come out somehow(without you
even realizing it) in conversations you have with other people.
So be aware of that.  It usually makes other people uncomfortable.

Remember, you are worth it, so go for it!  Don’t hold back!

You are worth more than those crazy negative self-talks that
have been taking over your mind on a daily basis.

Contact me today so that I can help you get started on working
through this crazy thing called ‘negative self-talk’.

Aloha, Janin

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